Well-Written Garbage

*NOTE: A lot of people are saying that "Trollpastas" should be well written and elaborate. So here you go assholes, the greatest, most well written, most elaborate piece of sheeeiit on this website. Here it is. ~
Rather than awaking to the usual sound of my fiancée making herself some coffee, I awoke to the sound of dead babies eating away at my flesh! Ha! Got you! This isn't real. The rest of this is just excerpts from "Jason Lee's" Wikipedia page.
Jason Michael Lee was born on April 25, 1970, in Orange County, California. At the time of his birth, his father, Greg, was a car dealership manager, and his mother, Carol Lee, was a homemaker. Lee was raised in Huntington Beach and attended Ocean View High School.cn
After taking some minor acting roles in 1992-1994 (including the music video for "100%," a small part in Mi Vida Loca, and a bit part as a dance instructor on Chance and Things), Lee left professional skateboarding for a full-time acting career. His first major movie role was in Kevin Smith's Mallrats, which became a cult hit. This started a friendship that subsequently led to appearances in many of Smith's films, including Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Clerks II, and Cop Out. Lee won an Independent Spirit Award for his role in Chasing Amy as Banky Edwards.
Lee at the Los Angeles Film Festival on June 25, 2006
In 2005, Lee was offered the lead role in My Name Is Earl. According to interviews on the first-season DVD, he passed on the series twice before finally agreeing to read for the pilot. In the series, he stars as Earl Hickey. Lee received two Golden Globe nominations for Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy in 2006 and 2007, as well as a nomination for the Screen Actors Guild Award for Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series in 2006. After four seasons of My Name is Earl NBC cancelled the series.
Lee's next project is a pilot for Amazon Studios called Cocked. Alongside Brian Dennehy and Sam Trammell, he will portray one of three men who run a gun manufacturer. Lee on the roof of the Beverly Laurel Hotel on June 28, 2005
In August 2012, Lee participated in the 9th annual Stand-Up for Skateparks Event, at which he was co-chair with Tony Hawk. The event is held annually by the Tony Hawk Charitable Foundation and seeks to "help create free, quality public skateparks for youth in low-income communities."
Lee later worked with Tony Hawk when he lent his voice and likeness to Tony Hawk's Project 8 to become a playable character. Lee then voiced Coach Frank, a character created during the development of Stereo, in Skate 3.
Professional skateboarder and owner of the Girl and Lakai Limited Footwear skateboard brands Mike Carroll has cited Lee as one of his skating influences.